Clan of The Cave Bear:Letters from Ayla
by ohmylaurely
Summary: Ayla has just been banished from her tribe, and is corresponding with her only human solace,Uba, by letters. It's very interesting, so please read and comment!


Laurel Greilich

2/22/09

English 8

A Sisterly Bond

Dear Ayla,

The rest of our Clan tries to persuade me that you are a ghastly spirit and that you have ascended to the Spirit World, but I can't believe this tale. If I miss one being so much, it must still be human. If you truly meant that you wished me to protect Durc and raise him well, it isn't possible that you are evil. The definition of evil is disregarding the needs of others and using trickery to obtain your desires, and Ayla, this description will never apply to you.

If you receive this letter, I wish you to be aware of recent events in the Clan community. Since the tragedy of the earthquake befell us, our people must roam until we sight another suitable cave to inhabit. As is seemed the moment Broud ordered your death curse, he is a leader with hasty decisions wrought with poor judgment heavily influenced by emotion. He views the world, not through his eyes, but through his heart, which translates badly for the Clan. His leadership style instigates tension between those who agree with Broud's opinions and those who do not. There is a great deal of contentious talk surrounding his delegation of power and status. Specifically, my husband is in the center of this controversy, and even I can't discern which side I am on. The elders of the Clan, Brun and Zoug, consider Vorn too young and inexperienced to handle the position of second-in-command, and they fear Broud will mold Vorn with his actions. I spend my nights with Vorn, so I am familiar with the progress within him; he is beginning to reason like a man, and he doesn't worship Broud as he would have during his childhood. Vorn is becoming his own individual, and I am proud of his growing leadership skills and his natural hunting prowess. The younger generation emerging into leadership positions supports Vorn and often compliments his efforts toward his new rank. Ovra and Oga often tell me to count my blessings and to thank my totem for giving me to such a talented and able man.

My sister, Durc misses you terribly. He often calls out in his sleep for you with your special shared word. I can only imagine the sorrow that you are experiencing; being alienated from one's child must cause a piercing hole to form in one's heart. My only condolence to offer you is information on Durc's progress. Your boy is as full of energy and enthusiasm as a babbling brook, and he focuses these traits on his interests. Currently, he's developed a keen curiosity of tool-making, and has persuaded Zoug to teach him these difficult tasks. Any child at Durc's age would lack rapt attention for these generally lengthy processes, but he surprises Zoug by being constantly absorbed in the man's words. While I collect water, I occasionally catch a glimpse of Durc whittling out deformed tools, and I always praise him for his wholehearted efforts. The only matter concerning Durc that worries me though, does not entirely have to do with him. I have observed Broud's cold behavior toward him, even while each of the clan members treats Durc as a child of their hearth. Broud frequently stares as malevolently at this innocent boy as he did you, and this alarms me.

Following your banishment, I was appointed medicine woman, a title with overwhelming responsibility. I literally feel as if each of the Clan member's lives is in my hands. Fortunately, I can rely on my vast bank of ancestral memories, but what did you draw upon when you stumbled for a cure? Currently, I am expected to aid Oga in the birthing of the baby she has conceived recently, but I am having difficulties with her even now, during her early pregnancy. Noticing that she still was not able to keep most of her food down and was having prolonged morning sickness, I confronted her immediately about the issue. I instinctively realized that rattlesnake root was assistive in keeping a baby, so I gathered some roots in the pine forest and instructed her to wash them and chew them slowly. Isn't this what Iza gave you during your pregnancy? I can only hope that Oga's sickness will subside soon and that after this, it will be a smooth road to the birthing.

Ayla, my sister, no matter how far away you may be, you'll always be in my thoughts.

Uba

Dear Uba,

It is impossible to put into words the loneliness that I feel right now. Your letter was the first human contact I have had since I was exiled from the Clan, and I thank you immensely for it. This woman can survive physically on her sling, but she needs social interactions with others to remain sane.

Being part of a community for my whole life has somewhat weakened my individual resolve. I am accustomed to functioning as a single piece of a group, working together with others to accomplish tasks that none of us alone could have completed. After my death curse became active, a sense of despondency came upon me as I stepped out among the tall, majestic pines in the forest. I have fended for myself several occasions before, even in dire circumstances, but I have always had hope that I would return to my hearth in time. I felt I could endure these periods of isolation because of the possibility of being reunited with the Clan.

This time, I know that I can never return. My only comfort is my totem, the Cave Lion, who has tested my spirit before, but who is by my side in times of need. While searching for a sufficient cave, I tested many by settling in them for a night or two. One day, with my will power almost drained, I entered a promising cave where I discovered a pile of porcupine quills. I praised the Cave Lion, for I knew he had provided me with a sign. I reminisced back to my first weeks practicing with my sling; the first animal I had managed to strike was a porcupine. Although there was sorrow involved in my first kill, at that moment I experienced the thrill of _aptitude_, I didn't have to rely on others for survival anymore. The quills were a symbol that meant I could survive _here_, in this cave, on my own. For this reason, I resolved to make this dwelling my permanent home.

I am thankful for my current abode, but I can't escape, as you said, the piercing hole in my heart. My wish, my only wish, is that Durc won't forget his real mother just as I have forgotten mine. Would suckling him have helped? I'm sure that I could have made time between attempting to nurse Iza back to health and sleeping, if only I had endeavored harder…I could have strengthened the bond between us before I left. But I am unable to control what has already taken place, so I plead to you, Uba, to continue raising Durc as well as possible. This anguish from being separated is almost unbearable, but Durc will have Ura as he grows older, and his pain of loss will be forgotten by then. Together, they will bear the harshness of life.

I wish the Clan success in scouting out caves and Oga relief during the time of her pregnancy.

Ayla

Dear Ayla,

Be confident and sure that you can endure, and you will. Your unique ability to persevere will pull you through as long as you maintain the belief that your circumstance will improve.

Much has happened in the Clan life since my last letter was written; hearths are filled with mixed emotion. I will begin with the terrible news, so that I can conclude this correspondence on a joyous note. Brun had constantly experienced ambivalence concerning Broud, this is the conclusion I have come to. Broud's swiftly shifting temper and quick-drawn fists often shamed Brun. Repeatedly, I saw the tired, defeated look in his eyes and the way his head would lower in resignation. Sometimes though, Brun would puff out his chest and glow with pride whenever Broud brought home a fresh kill, or made a rare popular decision. Broud couldn't see what pain he was causing his father by his actions because he refused to notice any negative effects they would have. Not more than five suns and moons ago did Brun die of a heart-attack because of his son. Broud was beating Ovra viciously because she had questioned him about his behavior toward Durc. He became even more enraged with each blow until he completely lost control, and Ovra's mate, Grev, had to pull Broud off of her. Witnessing this attack devastated Brun, and he collapsed at the site of the incident. Brun was unconscious before I reached him, and died before I had a chance to collect the necessary herbs to save him. It was time for Brun to pass, but not like this. He had done so much for the Clan and deserved a more valiant death.

Although this sorrowful event occurred such a short time ago, I have other thoughts on my mind. I am rejoicing quietly because Oga's dangerous morning sickness has subsided and she is experiencing a healthy pregnancy. I too, am now carrying a child. My totem has finally been overpowered, and although my last was a stillborn, I retain high hopes of birthing a healthy baby. Whenever I lift my eyes over the horizon, I can sense that you are beholding the same sky. If I could only fly those few, but distant miles between us, sister, like a sparrow searching for his nest, I would come to you. But for now, I can only wish you the best on any challenges or dangers that you may face. I have Durc to comfort me, but who do you have? You'll meet someone Ayla, I can sense it, and he will be the one you've been looking for to ease your loneliness.

Uba


End file.
